Modern Adaptation of the Week--Disney's Hercules

Honey, I think you mean Hunk-ules.

For those of us who grew up in the 90s, this film was a part of our childhoods. Heck, I even remember the Meg toy that I got in... some fast food meal or other. I would play with her all the time, though she wouldn't stand up properly.

Oddly enough, I never watched this film much as a kid. I never saw it in theaters, and my parents never bought it for me. I think it had something to do with the fact that they were still kind of pissy about Pocahontas, what with making her a pagan, and all. (but Dad... she really would have been, at that point...)

All that aside, I'll say that it was a pretty good film. It wasn't one of Disney's best films, but it was pretty good nonetheless. Why was it a good film? Well, let's begin!

SPOILERS AHOY! (yeah, I know; if you haven't seen this film, there's something wrong with you. Spoiler warning nonetheless)

Pros:

+The Invocation to the Muses: Alright, I'm stretching it, since the Muses are sort of the way the story gets progressed throughout the film. Of course the film would start with them. However, it's totally appropriate in an epic poem to begin with an invocation to the muses. So appropriate, in fact, that I've heard arguments saying that neither the Epic of Gilgamesh nor Beowulf should be considered epic poems proper because they're both missing that element.

+The Music: This film is no Lion King. However, the music in this film is still pretty good, definitely among Disney's higher ranking quality songs (the lower ranking ones are all in sequals and in a good number of their animal films such as Fox and the Hound). My favorites are probably "Go the Distance" and "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)." That second one is especially fun to sing. I would probably say that my least favorite song--and really, the only one that I don't particularly care for--is "One Last Hope."

+The Jokes: Before the Disney Renaissance of the late 80s, early 90s (starting with The Little Mermaid, I believe), Disney didn't really seem to do jokes all that well. By the time Hercules rolled around, everyone had some sort of witty one-liner. There are a few jokes that actually stand out to me: (a)at the beginning, when Hermes says, "I haven't seen so much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself" (or something like that...), (b)The scene with the Nemean Lion, who is actually Scar from The Lion King, and (c)When Hercules and Meg come from the theater, Hercules says something like, "And that Oedipus guy! Boy, I thought I had problems!" [awkward pause].

+The Character Performances: There are a few characters in this movie that I thought were done extremely well. Before I sat down to watch this film, again, I was thinking, "Please, PLEASE don't let my nostalgia goggles be knocked off!" I was pleased to find that it wasn't.

Hades (voiced by James Woods): I feel he's one of Disney's most likable villains. Where a whole lot of them are just pure, serious evil, Hades has a pretty strong sense of humor, which, as any girl can tell you, is always a plus when a guy is looking to snag a lady. And talk about not missing a beat! He reads his lines so naturally! If anyone reading this has done any acting, you know how impressive that is, especially considering how easy it would be to mess up on his lines. "But they have like, HOW many takes to do this in?!" Yeah, but there can still be some pretty bad voice acting out there. Hades is absolutely not one of them.

Meg (voiced by Susan Egan): Like Hades, she never misses a beat. Boy, you can believe that THOSE two have been hanging with each other for awhile. Actually, what I like about her character is that she's one of the strongest-willed female heroines of any Disney film. Even though by her own admission she's a "Damsel in Distress," I never really got that feeling from her. She seemed determined to get her own way out of the deal with Hades throughout the entire film, and if she couldn't get out, then she would roll with the punches and deal with it. It seemed like the only thing keeping her from seriously whooping up on Hades was her mortality. If she could have been a goddess, she would have stopped Hades from all of his evil plans a loooong time ago. Sadly, she's not that great in the original story. She's Hercules' wife for a while, but then, he kills her in a random fit of rage. Oops. Not so Disney, is it?

Pegasus: Yeah, I know Pegasus wasn't a vocal performance. However, the directing on Pegasus was very good. I always got the impression from Pegasus that he was Hercules' old pal from grade school, and now, they've met up at their frat and they're out just to have a good time. I thought the bird thing was pretty clever, too. Most people, I think, would make Pegasus a noble, serious character, but Disney opted for funny, and I think it worked in this movie. While a lot of Disney's sidekick characters can be annoying, this one isn't.

-Sneaking in the 12 Tasks: This film is FAR from being historically accurate. However, it still manages to sneak in a good deal of Hercules' twelve tasks that he has to perform (I'll let YOU look for them!). Sneaky, Disney, very sneaky.

Cons:

-Historical Inaccuracy: This one doesn't bother me, really. I'm only putting this in here for the people who really want to complain about it. However, it's Disney; they're going to rape the original story. Believe me, if you go into it knowing that, it becomes more like... consensual sex, rather than rape. (okay, horrible analogy, I know.)

-The Characters: While there were some pretty strong characters, a few fell sort of weak, for me.

Philoctetes (voiced by Danny Devito): I know... other people probably really like his character. There's nothing wrong with Mr. Devito's performace; he plays the character well. However, I just don't like Phil as a person. I thought he was borderline obnoxious sidekick (even though he was actually a mentor character), but that was really more of an impression than a real critique of the film.

Pain and Panic (voiced by Bob Goldthwait and Matt Frewer): Okay, these guys WERE obnoxious sidekicks. Their only purpose throughout the whole film was just to annoy me. To me, they felt sort of like what would have happened if Banzai, Shenzi, and Ed from The Lion King would have been played wrong. "If... if is good!" always sort of reminded me of a hyena line that just never made it into The Lion King and got stuck in this film. I think of every character in this film, their performances were the weakest, perhaps because Disney was losing the ability to write good sidekick characters. To be honest, I like it more when I can respect the sidekick characters (eg, every sidekick in the first Aladdin film) rather than look down on them.

-The Disney Formula: At around some point during the Disney Renaissance, they succeeded in creating a certain formula for the perfect story. I swear, this movie had almost every one, except for the one where one of the parents has to be dead. Surprisingly, there are no dead parents in this film (I suppose even Disney can't kill an Olympian god!). However, there was the opening baby bash (Sleeping Beauty, Lion King), the misfit hero who has to prove himself (Aladdin, Mulan), the trade-off-of-skills (The Little Mermaid), etc etc.

~~~

Overall, it was a pretty good film. The complaints that I had were not enough to deter me from enjoying this film. The only thing that saddens me about this film is the fact that the only really good Disney films that came after it were Mulan and the Emperor's New Groove. Oh Disney. If only you'd kept it up.

(P.S.-- you almost didn't get a post, today, because I'm feeling pretty under the weather. Ick. So, if this review felt weak, that's why.)

CARTHAGO DELENDA EST!!!