Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Text of the Week (late)-- The Satyricon

I feel as though I've been unfair to the Romans. You know, it's not like everything they wrote was a bomb. I just... have bad feelings towards Vergil. But that's not to say that other Romans were bad writers. So today, I'm going to review a very special Roman friend: Petronius.

Of course, there's a problem we already have, because while we have this name, "Petronius," that's it... that's all we know of this guy. Oh sure, there's a couple of dudes that the historians think may fit the bill, but we don't REALLY know who Petronius IS. If I had my text, I would cite that, but since I don't... maybe I could cite it next week...

Anyway, why do I like this text so much?

SPOILERS AHOY!!!

(That really IS dumb sounding. I think I was in a medicine-induced haze when I thought of that one. Anyone got anything better??)

Pros:

+REALLY stinkin funny: Okay guys, the name of this is "Satyricon," from which we get the word "Satire." This isn't just some text with a few funny parts. This is frickin' hilarious! The main story involves a guy named Enclopius, our narrator, who has this little boy that he likes, Giton. Okay, I say "little boy," but he was probably in his later teenage years. And yes, I KNOW what you're saying! "But we do not understand! The Romans thought that the oily Greeks and their pederasty was disgusting!" Yes, well... I'm not so convinced that the Romans TRULY hated the Greeks THAT much. Anyway, along with Enclopius and Giton is Ascyltus, who also has a thing for poor little Giton. Hilarity ensues from there, including being tortured by crazy women who have a thing for them, and going to a ridiculously overblown party thrown by a guy named Trimalchio. Perhaps my favorite part of this story is the bit at Trimalchio's party where someone tells a story about werewolves. Yes. You read that correctly. Romans had werewolves. Perhaps it may seem surprising, considering the fact that we tend to associate Hollywood with so many of these beasties. Yet, the idea of people turning into animals is a pretty ancient one.

+GAY: Okay... so maybe this one is a negative for some people. However, I just find it HILARIOUS. As a good straight, Christian girl, I probably shouldn't. Nevertheless, I just find the entire thing to be amusing. I'm quite sure that Alan More likes the gay, as well.

+The Format: As a Latin student, you have no idea how pleased I am that the Satyricon is NOT poetry, which is surprising, considering the fact that most stories back then were told in poem format. This is probably a plus for most moderns in general, since we're used to reading prose, anyway. None of this silly "Alexander-Pope-Turning-Everything-Into-Heroic-Couplets" business.

+Werewolves: I just... and they piss on the ground... around their clothes and I just... have such awe for them! *A*

Cons:

-Fragments: As great as this story is, it's only in fragments. Imagine my sorrow when I got to the last page and realized that I had no idea what was going to happen next. It was very sad sorrow, indeed.

... yep, that's all I got! An otherwise excellent story!

~~~

I know, this one felt a little short. I apologize, but frankly, the humor is the best part of this thing. I'm serious; go drop whatever you're doing and read the Satyricon NOW. I won't talk to you until you do.

...

Okay, never mind. I will. But still, go read it!

CARTHAGO DELENDA EST!

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